A Cal Maritime Engineer
Squirts some oil on the two engines.
They seem to run pretty good.
Returns to his cabin to smoke a bowl and celebrate.

A Maine Maritime Engineer
Squirts some oil on the two engines.
The one on the left looks very attractive.

A Schuyler Engineer
Squirts some oil on the two engines.
Realizes none of them belong to him.
Starts wiping down all evidence of his fingerprints.

A Mass Engineer
Is told something about two engines, but doesn’t know where they are.
Decides to have lunch.

A Texas Engineer
Has two engines
Counts them again and has 4 engines
Counts them again and has 42 engines.
Counts them again and learns he has 2 engines.
Returns to his cabin to pat himself on the back

A KP Engineer
Sees he’s got two engines but they aren’t listed on his checklist so returns to the ECR for coffee
The 1st tells him he’s a moron and orders him to sit on his hands while he does the round himself
The KP engineer has the wiper turn on the computer for him then types out a complaint with his nose

Credit goes to a poster on the gcaptain forums. There is a thread titled “the one about KP” and it is hours of entertainment, however this little gem had me just about rolling on the floor.