Billy’s Speech

Watched The Perfect Storm tonight and pulled up a rewrite of Billy’s speech I wrote a couple weeks ago, and wrote two more. I hope this gets a laugh!

 For the Boston Tug Skippers:

The fog’s just lifting. Throw off your bow line; throw off your stern. You head out Chelsea Creek, past Reineaur’s yard, the north end. Past Cashman’s yard where I threw my first ringer. Blow your air-horn and flip the bird to the donkeys anchored by the castle fishing. Then the birds show up: sea gulls, sea gulls, couple more sea gulls. The sun hits ya- where the hell are my sunglasses. Flop around on the wire and open up to 4- steamin’ now. The guys are asleep; you’re in charge. Ya know what? You’re a goddam tug boat captain! Is there anything better in the world?

For the Boston Dinner Boat Skippers:

The fog’s just lifting. Throw off your bow line; throw off your stern. You head out to president roads, past East Boston, Black Falcon terminal. Past Castle Island where I got french fries as a kid. Blow your air-horn and flip the bird to the donkeys anchored in the channel fishing. Then the birds show up: sea gulls, sea gulls, couple more sea gulls. The sun hits ya – turn around, you’re late. Open up to 2.6- steamin’ now. The guys are fixing stuff for chef; you’re in charge. Ya know what? You’re a goddam dinner boat captain! Is there anything better in the world?

For the Boston Fast Ferry Skippers:

The fog’s just lifting. You’re still doing 30 knots and wondering what that contact on the radar is. No time to look around, here comes the dock at Logan. You’re doing 30 knots again, no time for speeches.

For the River Boat Skippers:

Yeah, Um, We’ve got a narrator for that…….

About newenglandwaterman

1600 Master Near Coastal, Master of Towing Vessels, and a whole binder full of other pieces of paper. You can find me at the controls, hooked up and hard over, when I'm not at home playing with the dogs
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